From Pain to Connection: Family Therapy for Adult Children and Parents

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"It's never too late to heal the relationships that shaped us."

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Is Family Therapy for Adults?

Short answer: Yes. Absolutely!!

Long answer: Family therapy—or healing work among people who are related in some way—is not just for children or teens. It’s for all ages and stages of life. Whether you're navigating estrangement, old wounds, caretaking roles, or shifting dynamics in adulthood, it’s never too late to come together for repair, understanding, and connection.

There are all kinds of reasons why family therapy might not have been possible earlier in life. Maybe it wasn’t financially accessible. Maybe no one knew it was an option. Maybe things didn’t seem “bad enough,” or it was too hard to name how painful they really were. Sometimes there just wasn’t enough hope—or energy—to try. Maybe our culture said we need to keep things in the family, or that seeking help outside the family is a sign of weakness or failure.

But that doesn’t mean it’s too late.

Who is family therapy for?

All kinds of families:

• Families of origin and families of choice

• Blended and adoptive families

• Multigenerational households

• Siblings

• Families who live together

• Families who don’t

It’s for people who love each other but struggle to stay connected when there’s hurt. And it's for people still deciding whether connection is even possible—or safe.

Parents, caregivers, and adult children continue to grow and change throughout life. But the wounds of early relationships don’t disappear on their own. They live in the body, in our patterns, in our unspoken grief. Therapy can offer a place to slow down, listen, and begin again.

Luis, Jessica, and Angel: A Real-Life Example

(Composite Case Example; details have been altered for confidentiality)

Luis and Jessica are siblings in their 50s. Their father, Angel, now in fragile health, had been a single parent for most of their childhood. His struggle with substances often left him irritable, short tempered, and emotionally unavailable. While Angel worked multiple jobs, kept food on the table, and tried to keep them safe, the emotional toll was heavy. The children often felt unsafe and had to take on responsibilities beyond their years.

As adults, Luis and Jessica found themselves in the difficult position of caring for their father—managing doctor’s appointments and living arrangements—all while still carrying the emotional burden of their childhood. They loved their dad, but resentment ran deep. How could they care for the man who had, in so many ways, been unpredictable and inconsistent?

They faced a dilemma common in many families: when they tried to express their pain, Angel experienced it as judgment. He responded defensively, overwhelmed by his own shame and trauma. Their pain was often met with resistance and distance.

Therapy helped the family slow down and create space for healing. It was Angel’s love for his children that gave him the courage to confront his past trauma. Ultimately, this allowed him to become accountable, open his heart to truly listen, and offer genuine support for Luis and Jessica’s longstanding pain. In doing so, he was able to heal himself and the relationship with his adult children. They were able to cultivate a relationship of equals, with their father becoming a resource—despite his health limitations. This shift empowered him and allowed the entire family to move forward with greater compassion and understanding.

Healing Through Relationship: The Power of Family Therapy for Adults

When parents are raising children, there is often little room to acknowledge their own pain. Many cultures require parents to push aside their issues, not realizing that these unresolved feelings still impact their children. It can feel inappropriate to allow children into that suffering, but on some level, they experience it regardless.

Adulthood can be an opportunity for a deeper relationship, where the adult children can see the greater context of their parents' struggles and potentially receive the care they may not have received as children. It allows parents to experience themselves effectively reaching their children, creating a relationship of equals—still complex, but beautiful in its authenticity.

One thing I’ve learned is that parents often feel confused and unappreciated, navigating resentment that can feel foreign to them. Adult children often feel disappointed, and their pain can feel unseen. This can create conflict, and over time, lead to cutoffs—patterns that may even persist across generations. Family therapy provides a space to unpack these feelings, understand them, and find new ways of relating that offer healing for both sides.

Why Now?

Family therapy for adults is a vital part of the healing process for many families. It allows for the possibility of new, healthy relationships—even with the pain of the past.

Whether you are an adult child struggling with your relationship with your parents or a parent navigating the challenges of caregiving and growing with your children, therapy can help you find a path to understanding, compassion, and connection. Healing can happen at any stage of life, and family therapy offers the tools and support to make it possible.

"If you’re ready to begin healing your family relationships, I’m here to help. Reach out today to explore how family therapy can support you and your loved ones."

Becky